3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize