So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
