i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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