I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize