Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
it wasn't lemon gatorade
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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