Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
