I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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