I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
