We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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