also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
