Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
