I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We left an ass print on the piano.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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