cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
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Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
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Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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