Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
