you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize