You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
