Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
