i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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