How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
