oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize