I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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