dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize