hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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