This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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