I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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