he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
