there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
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You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
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Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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