He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
How does it feel to date your dad?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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