Apparently you make a good broom.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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