Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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