billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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