I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize