My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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