If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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