I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
