You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
oh god the rape fog is back!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
