it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize