It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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