There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
