I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
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Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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