We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
