my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
