hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
