I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
