I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
