READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
