when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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