Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
