He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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