Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Your topless pictures make me question reality
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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