On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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