Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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