The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
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his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
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If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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