Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
