if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
