opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
