I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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