if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize