love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
