Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
